Do you ever hear someone speak about something ordinary that you’ve heard a million times, except this time it is as if you’ve heard it completely anew and understand it in a way that you never had before?
I think these are ‘God moments’ where I imagine that he’s saying the words loud and slow, carefully enunciating each word like I unconsciously do when I talk to someone who speaks another language or maybe who has trouble hearing in the hopes that the meaning will somehow get across.
Last week a friend and I were discussing family problems when she said to me, “I just want to work at keeping the peace.”
‘Keeping the peace,’ I thought… If we could harness peace and hold onto it, that would be quite a feat. Why do we use that phrase? And, where does it come from? After a quick Google search, I learned that it often refers to maintaining order and preventing violence. That is a pretty tall order.
While it is true that we can walk away from controversy and stop ourselves from provoking others, things still might not be all rainbows and sunshine.
It probably wasn’t until I began a twelve-step program that I began to understand that trying to control anything outside of myself was impossible. So, I thought again about her choice of words and asked her if she could write down that phrase but to rethink it.
“What do you need to do to keep the peace within?” I asked.
She was quiet. I continued on, “if we can’t control anyone but ourselves, then keeping the peace can only occur inside our hearts and minds. Does that change what you will do?”
I think that God has been leading me to consider that question myself. Perhaps it is the reason that when I heard her speak that phrase, it was as if she was speaking in slow motion. He had my attention. What in my life do I need to do to maintain order and eliminate violence?
If I look at my twelve-step program, it is all about restoring order: I’m powerless. God’s not. I’ll let Him take over. Then it helps me to maintain the order: make a list of the problems, confess to God and another, make restitution where I can, stay vigilant with my actions towards others, stay in contact with God and give what I have to others.
The second part of that definition is about preventing violence. While physical violence is not a concern, maybe I should think about the emotional violence that can be present in the sarcastic comments, judgmental scoffs, eye-rolls or anything that I do that intends to put others in ‘their place.’
If I can do these things, my internal peace will be kept.
If you have a loved one who struggles with an addiction, these things are life-changing. There is hope and help. All you have to do is reach out to someone.
I am praying for you.