My sisters came to my house a few weeks back to make strawberry jam. There are three of us. My oldest sister, Jane is 11 years older than me. My sister Joy is 8 years older than me. It wasn’t until we were adults that they felt less like second-mothers and more like sisters.
I bought a flat of strawberries. They brought jars, sugar and pectin. Then we got to work. Within an hour and 45 minutes, we’d made 4 batches of strawberry jam, had cleaned up our dishes and were leaving to have lunch. These are my people. We know how to get things done.
In that setting, it is a good thing that we work so well together. In my home, doing what I need to do for myself this is okay. My sisters and I grew up together learning to work together. We are like a well-oiled machine.
Problems arise when I try to fix others when I have not been invited into the situation. My friend, mentor and unofficial sponsor, Ragena often asks me, “Did you wait for the question?” I hate it when she does this. She’s like a good lawyer that already knows the answer before she asks the question. It is merely to draw my attention to a repeated behavior.
It is my addiction to fixing and controlling. While I think that I have a lot of good ideas–they often get in the way of the growth of others. I must remember that I wasn’t always so efficient myself. I’ve had to do a lot of trial and error on many fronts. It was the mistakes that have taught me the most. And when I deprive my loved ones of those opportunities, I am the one holding them back.
Recovery is messy for them and for us. It requires a lot of trust. Can we wait for the question? Can we trust that God has us right where we need to be today? Can we let go for just another 24 hours? I think we can.
Gracious God, Please help us. This is hard work. Please stay near to each and every one who reads this message. Hold each person near so that they feel your loving embrace–so that they know that you are there to catch them. Show us the next steps to take. Help us to grow in the direction that you desire. Thank you for all that you have given us and continue to bless us with. In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit. Amen.