I’ve always struggled with my weight. I’ve tried all sorts of diets. I’ve joined exercise classes, wasted money on gym memberships and equipment and finally given up.

Then at the beginning of the year I used a word generator to select a word to think about/meditate upon for an entire year. The word that was selected for me was ‘detox.’

Since I’m currently in recovery from trying to manage the business of others, it’s probably some form of poetic justice that I received that word.

I decided that I would begin by thinking about detoxing my body–just like my friends in recovery have done. I knew that I needed to steer clear of sugar. But, I also become excessive with breads and salty snacks.

I hate diets. I am a child of the eighties. We introduced all kinds of crazy diets then. I remember when bacon and eggs were surely going to kill us all. Instead, it was suggested that a plain bagel and cream cheese was a better option. I feel traumatized just remembering…

So, I decided that I would try to ‘twelve-step’ my health regimen. I began every morning by saying a prayer, asking God to remove the desire for sugar from me. Then, I asked him to help me eat exactly the amount of food that my body needed.

I was determined to trust that God would give me exactly what I needed, which meant that I would not measure or weigh my food. I also resolved to leave my scales in the closet.

Then I heard about eating according to circadian rhythms. This is where you eat a good breakfast, your largest meal at lunch and a snack at supper. After 7pm, you stop eating.

Researchers believe that if we follow this repeated pattern that mimics the days cycle, our bodies will feel better and we will become healthier people.

This reminded me of St. Ignatius of Loyola. He began to pay close attention to his feelings. He realized that they were a connection to God. If he listened to what they were telling him, he would experience relationship with God in his everyday life.

Then I picked up this little book (pictured above) at Ignatius House in Atlanta last week when I met with my spiritual director. In it one meditation in particular grabbed my attention.

It said that all that we eat comes from the earth just as we come from the earth. It went on to say that all of the food that we eat comes from decaying plants and animals that have come before us.

The last sentence is the very definition of the word humus–which is closely related to human. I am a human. I have been given this body and need to be a good steward of it.

Because I am human, I will need to rely on my Higher Power (God) to understand what type of fuel it needs and how much.

Wow! I couldn’t believe it. This really is how the twelve-steps work. I need to shift my focus from the exterior noise about dieting to the interior movements that God gives me if I listen closely enough.

And, as my twelve-step friend Bill says, “If I allow it to get quiet, it gets awfully noisy.”

It’s easy to disconnect. So you have to Keep in Mind what you are doing. If you leave the measuring and weighing up to God and you make a decision to listen to his will for you and your eating, you will feel better.

I know that you are probably wondering about weight loss. Don’t we all wonder about that? While I am trying to let how my body feels and performs be my focus, I can tell you that I have lost twelve pounds from one doctor visit to the next.

Detoxing isn’t easy in the beginning. You feel different. It’s not familiar and sometimes that is uncomfortable. But, I decided to sit with the discomfort and not be afraid of it. After a while the odd feelings go away and I realize that my body feels better with less.

Food is a common addiction. I guess it’s high time that I deal with mine. I hope you’ll follow along on my journey.

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