If you show up at a 12-step meeting for friends and family members, it won’t take long before someone tells you to mind your own business. “You need to get out of God’s way” is usually the next piece of advice.
Out in the world when we tell someone to mind their own business it has a negative connotation. The speaker might be implying that you are being nosey. But in 12-step groups, we are quite literal. If you are racing into the alcoholic’s life, trying to create a soft landing for the chaos they’ve created, you are getting in the way of the natural consequences of their actions. You are minding the business of others.
While you’re paying attention to the alcoholic, what is happening to your business? I don’t mean your professional business. I mean the business of caring for the creation that is you. How do you feel? Are you exercising? Are you taking the time to choose healthy foods? Do you have time to meditate and pray? Are you fostering relationships with friends? If you’re not doing these things, you need to. Mind YOUR business.
In St. Ignatius’ spiritual exercises he makes clear (principle and foundation) that we start with God. We were made to praise, reverence and serve God. We weren’t made to take his job. Your loved one is his child–just as you are. He wants each of you to mind (pay attention to) your relationship with him first. Then care for your body, mind and spirit. Out of this healed relationship, we seek to be God for others.
As we head into the holidays, I want to offer a few short lifelines like today’s post. Holidays can be stressful and sometimes I need a little nudge back to center (God) so that my life returns to order.
Father, please help me to remember what my responsibility is. Please take care of my loved ones as only you know how to do. Please help me to trust more. Stay close so that I can feel your love. Amen.