Just a Mustard Seed’s Worth of Faith

There is a saying in recovery circles that reminds me that I am not God: “It takes what it takes.” This saying is repeated to family members often, to remind us that we cannot know what it will take for our loved ones to ‘get it’.

Who is the god of my understanding?

If I expect things to go ‘my way’ then the assumption that I am working under is that ‘I know best.’ Let’s look at this another way. I do know that it is healthier for my loved ones to find sobriety. There is no doubt about that. But, the path that ultimately helps them find sobriety is something that is beyond my understanding.

You see, I don’t really know anything about the totality of my loved ones experiences, thoughts and feelings. They are a unique individual created by God. They don’t think as I do. I don’t know everything that they have experienced. There is only one who has this information and it’s not me–or you…

Learning to let go

So how can we help our loved ones? We let go. We trust our loved ones into the care of God. Learning to do that is a big part of our recovery. In my case, I realized that I didn’t trust God with my loved ones. I had to sit with that knowledge and figure out why. I recognized that I was working in self-will. I wanted it to go my way. I was afraid of what God’s will might ask me to do. I was tired of worry. I was tired of seeing my loved ones hurting themselves. I needed to slow down and pay attention to what I was doing.

A way to move forward

I asked God to help me want to let go of my own will. It took time with God to trust his will for my loved ones. It took getting to know him in a deep and intimate way. I didn’t really know how to do that until I began my 12-step program and started learning some of St. Ignatius tools for growing in relationship to God that are found in the spiritual exercises.

In Ignatian Spirituality, we are told to look for God in all things. This exercise helps us get out of our heads/out of our worries and brings us to the present moment. It asks us to notice what is happening now–not get wrapped up in what we fear might happen.

Start taking note of the good in your day. Begin to ask for help and then get quiet. See what ideas God brings to your mind. I’ll bet the farm that they will be better than the ideas you come up with when you are riddled with fear of something that may or may not happen. Start noticing the differences between how you handle things and how God handles things.

Make a gratitude list. Everything you have is a gift from God. Recognize those things. Start there. Notice how many little details he takes care of when you start paying attention. Are you starting to see how much he loves you yet?

 He put before them another parable: “The kingdom of heaven is like a mustard seed that someone took and sowed in his field; ³² it is the smallest of all the seeds, but when it has grown it is the greatest of shrubs and becomes a tree, so that the birds of the air come and make nests in its branches.”

Matthew 13:31-32

These simple directives can help you find a starting point, a mustard seed’s worth of faith. Keep working on yourself. It is the only power you have. Look at the scripture above. It promises that if we will trust just a small amount, that faith will grow. If we keep growing our relationship with God, our faith will change us.

I think that when we are changed, our loved ones change too. If you read CCC 221, it talks about God being the eternal exchange of love. It says that we are called to be a part of that exchange. If we grow in love with God: Father, Son & Holy Spirit, we become filled with something that is beyond our human means.

This new love that we possess will touch our loved ones. There is no doubt in my mind that when I cleaned up myself, my relationship to God began to heal. When that relationship started growing, my other relationships began to heal.

It didn’t happen overnight. It happened in God’s time. You see for me to heal my relationship with God–for you to heal your relationship with God, ‘It takes what it takes.’ God isn’t asking for much. He knows us.He knows that maybe the only bit of faith we can muster is as tiny as a mustard seed. See how well he takes care of us?