I was driving down a long stretch of highway, somewhere between Arkansas and Texas, when I saw the words, ‘Real Christians Obey God’s Teachings’ fill an entire billboard. My first feeling was anger. Why would someone want to put that on a billboard? It reminded me of my grandmother telling me that ‘God won’t like […]
One of the most frightening things that I’ve ever had to do is hold a sedated horse for my husband. I don’t do it often. And, when I do, it is because I am his very last resort to be a vet assistant. Just imagine holding 800-1200 pounds of wobbling beast. My husband becomes so […]
If you ever wanted to make me cry, forget about being mean. That won’t work. My hillbilly ire may be raised a bit, but I will not cry. But, if you are kind, it gets me, every time. It touches the soft part of my heart that spills over like an April shower that […]
Eleven years before I was born, Henry Heaton died. He was my paternal grandfather and he was an alcoholic. I don’t know much about him. What I do know explains a lot about the fear and shame that I inherited surrounding the disease of addiction. There was one story that my dad told many times. […]
Last Friday, I was a bundle of nerves. No one thing had happened. But, I had nagging fears that something would. You see, I was concerned because my plans were not coming along as I thought they should. Over the course of the day, those anxieties seemed to grow to the point that they were […]
It was hard to walk through the door of my first twelve-step meeting. It was even harder to whisper to God asking Him to show me what the problem was. Somehow, it felt like if I didn’t ask the question, it wouldn’t be true. And, while I remember my own fear, I forget that others […]
I remember my first twelve-step meeting so well. It was my intention to go into the Church’s little basement room and take thorough notes on how to fix my addicted loved ones. Then, I’d go home and take care of business–as usual. Hopefully, I thought, it won’t take too long. So, you can imagine my […]
Addiction is a difficult disease to battle–that is for sure. But, many times we are served with the news of those difficulties in such a way that it can be overwhelming. You will be told up-front that for an addict or alcoholic, there are only three possible paths. There is recovery, institutions (jail/prison or mental) […]
I remember the early days of my son’s addiction. I felt paralyzed. I sat with this new information alone. Would I be able to tell anyone? What would they think of him? What would they think of me? I looked around with new eyes. I saw families–they all seemed so normal compared to how I […]
We have always had horses. My husband grew up with them. I am afraid…still. A few years ago, I decided to try again to overcome some of my fears so I took some lessons from on older cowboy that we knew. I understood that it would be important to start on the […]