Chipping away at the stigma of addiction is near and dear to my heart but it wasn’t until I was asked to speak on the topic of engaging families and parishes into recovery where I gave any thought as to how or where to start dealing with such a big job. The stigma surrounding addiction, while improving is still the biggest obstacle to healing for both the alcoholic and their family members. It must be addressed first.
Back in the summer, when I was asked to give that talk, it was the first time that I began to think of simple steps to take to call out the stigma of addiction. The same day, I had read my daily readings and after the phone call, I went back and reread these two verses:
Mark 1:29-31:
On leaving the synagogue, he entered the house of Simon and Andrew with James and John. Simon’s mother-in-law lay sick with a fever. They immediately told him about her. He approached, grasped her hand, and helped her up. Then the fever left her, and she waited on them.
That talk can be found here, I will leave it to you to listen to, if you’d like to have full context. For those who don’t have the time to listen, I’ll give you the short version:
It’s hard to go wrong when you follow the actions of Jesus–am I right? I looked at the actions taken in that scripture reading. What did the apostles do? And, what did Jesus himself do? I came up with (5) actions taken and using alliteration (to help me remember) I point out the actions taken in that scripture that I think would be helpful in creating a crack in the stigma that exists today. Here they are:
Reach Out (in prayer), Receive Others (right where they are), Reeducate (separate fact from fiction), Rehumanize (get to know the humans behind the suffering) and Return (accompany them as they seek to be who they were called to be before the struggles with addiction).
Dry January is an opportunity to observe judgment-free the topic of alcohol or drugs. Let’s step back and notice–how do you feel while drinking or afterwards? How do you feel about alcohol? How does society present the culture of drinking? Let’s look at what we know and decide what we need to unlearn.
The point of dry January according to this WebMD article by George Koob, PhD is this: Dry January “basically reflects a change in culture in our country,” says Koob, who has studied the neurobiology of addiction for most of his career. “People are becoming more aware that a root cause for individuals’ health problems is alcohol.”
While he isn’t interested in judging people who drink, he says that this month of openly abstaining from alcohol offers folks who feel pressured to drink an out. “It gives people an option for not drinking without feeling stigmatized,” he says. I couldn’t believe my eyes. We are damned if we do and damned if we don’t.
I’d seen this no-win phenomenon before. Drinking is cool until it’s not. But where is the line? I remember watching this scene on the tv series Mad Men. When Freddy’s co-worker begins laughing at him during a moment of humiliation during a blackout, I was frustrated. On that show, drinks were served early in the morning and all day long in their office. What did they expect would happen when that kind of drinking occurred on a regular basis?
Personally, I’d had a similar experience when I attended a wedding where there was mention of a signature mock-tail. The mother of the bride heard the discussion and commented, “I hope not.” I doubt she knew my backstory but I wondered why would you hope not. What is the problem with offering a mocktail? Later at the wedding when a young man who was clearly over-served became a spectacle, she wanted him dealt with.
Am I the only one who sees the absurdity of this?
I have to wonder do people not know that alcoholism is a progressive disease? Do they know that there are a great number of people who can never take a sip? Or that there are people who can function–hold down a regular and high position job and still not be able to stop drinking?
It makes me wonder why we place so much esteem on drinking. We dress up for cocktail parties. We use many different fancy glasses for each kind of cocktail like it really makes a difference. We’ve created a culture around drinking that makes you feel sophisticated. But is it? Really?
Why do we over serve to the point that the person can’t make sound decisions and then get mad when they get behind the wheel. Don’t get me wrong–I do NOT believe in drinking and driving but when bad decisions are made under the influence, why are we so surprised?
Why do we look down on people who don’t drink and look down on those who drink too much?
I also wonder why there is such a disconnect between cause and effect. If you drink routinely, you may become dependent. If you continue drinking once dependent, you may become addicted. Once addicted, the ability to make sound decisions is gone. All thoughts are fixed on how to get the next drink. You are addicted. You are enslaved.
Is it a lack of knowledge or refusal to accept the truth/situation?
Give me a moment here to get off my soap box…
Okay, Dry January is an opportunity to look at the way you see alcohol and alcoholism. It is a time to separate fact from fiction–to reeducate yourselves. I’m sure that like me, you grew up with certain ideas around alcohol. Are they true? Do they need a second look?
What are your thoughts? Let’s take a few weeks to explore this topic together. Let’s have a productive discussion. No judgment. I am not here to tell people not to drink–or to drink. I am here to say form your own opinion based on fact.