I went to mass with no idea of what to ‘give up’ for Lent. In the past, I’ve paid a lot of attention to this exercise.
But, the last few years instead of giving something up, I’ve chosen to add something. Giving up chocolate felt hollow. The thought of ‘ I’ll give up chocolate for Lent’ always had the parasitic thoughts of losing weight attached to them that didn’t seem all that aligned to the practice of sacrifice that seeks to enlighten me about the inordinate attachments that get in the way of my relationship with God.
Today, I had no plans. I simply showed up at Church and sat in a pew where the sun came streaming in through the skylights.
I sat alone for a moment. Then a steady stream of people began filling up each row. Even so, it felt as if no one was there but me and God. I told him how grateful I was for our time together, the sunshine and this, my favorite season of the year.
The choir began to sing the words, “Be Still and Know That I am God…” as the priest processed in. The sounds from those voices felt like a balm to my winter-weary soul. Then the priest blessed the ashes.
In the ordinary pieces of my life, God teaches me. This mass…the ashes that have been blessed…my program of recovery…my everyday experience, if I am listening, I remember that I am not God.
Be Still.
Perhaps I am being invited into the wilderness alone with God. Can I give him my time? Can I trust that the desert has lessons that will fill and fortify my life?
Can I wait? Can I stop looking at my schedule and wait on His?
Can I see those who live in my minutes and hours as He sees them? Can I be Him for the stranger in need?
Be Still.
Sitting in the presence of the Holy, I feel the call to see this time with his as sacred. No deprivation for the sake of deprivation will benefit me. No stringent use of willpower will increase my faith.
But, time alone, time sitting still, time with God together in the wilderness will reorient my relationship with Him. It will help me to once again relinquish my illusion of control and ready me for the time ahead.
As always, I’m blessed by your insights and the chords of your reflections vibrate in my mind. I come away thinking.
Thank you Jean.
Thanks Joni. That really means a lot
Thank you for sharing your experiences!! As I was going up to receive communion at Mass for ash Wednesday, I had an overwhelming sense of happiness and peace in my heart.. I thought this is what lent is going to be for me this year, I’m going to release all the past ‘stuff’ and be happy, the happiest of my life!! Love you and I miss all you guys!! Diane Haulk
Thanks Dianne. I love the idea of releasing or letting go of past stuff. It’s so odd how we tend to hang on to hurts and fears. I think that’s why I love Lent so. It’s a reminder to sort things out.