It’s been a very busy season. In October I was offered a unique opportunity. I was asked to be the keynote speaker for the Bishop’s Dinner honoring Guest House, a treatment center for Roman Catholic priest and religious. This year’s theme was, “Recovery as a Bridge: Engaging Families and Parishes into Recovery.”
The morning of the dinner, I was invited into the treatment center to meet those who are currently in treatment. It was a great honor. Somehow, I’d put priest and religious on a pedestal. Like many parishioners, I’d forgotten that like me, they are human beings first.
The visit opened my mind to see the unique challenges that they face when they suffer from an addiction. It’s hard to wrap your mind around the fact that our priests and religious might need help too. But they do. What I learned is that because we have this skewed perception, expectations for priests and religious to come home after treatment are often unrealistic.
Recovery is a long process. It takes a lifetime to work this program. Early on, it’s hard for all of us (those who suffer from a drug and alcohol addiction & those who love them) to enter back into our everyday lives knowing that we have to approach things differently and not being entirely sure how to accomplish that task. Priests are expected to go back to work counseling others when they aren’t entirely sure how to live life sober for themselves. Most of the time, they have to do it in secret. The stigma still exists.
In recovery we have a saying that has been proven to be true. “You are as sick as your secrets.” Hiding is hard on those who are trying to recover. There is a delicate line between keeping things secret and trying to remain anonymous until or unless they are ready to share their story with others.
Parishes are a lot like families. They are an environment that those who suffer will return to. Will it be an environment that supports recovery or one that still protects the secret? That is the question we must ask ourselves. There is no middle ground.
If we learn to become a place that supports recovery in general, the environment will be a healthy one for all. We will learn to understand addiction and chip away at the stigma that keeps people hidden and sick. Addiction is a family disease. It is a parish disease. We all know someone.
Guest House has treated around 6,000 individuals since it began its ministry. Think about that. Think about the money that goes into training a priest or religious. Think about the number of people who are affected by each priest or religious. We have an opportunity as parishioners to not only help support their recovery but also every single family who has been touched by addiction. Win/win.
If the priests and religious grow in their recovery, one day they could possibly use their experience to help others. As someone who is a member of a 12-step community, I can tell you that they will be one of the biggest assets to the church. We live in a hurting world. But for today, they need to learn to just stay sober.
How do we help with that? Well, I have some ideas. These ideas work for families or in a broader context like a parish. I’m going to be sharing these ideas with you in the next post or two. In the meantime, in this season of gratitude, if you’d like to give back for what you’ve been given, Guest House needs your help to continue their good work. You can donate here.