In 12-step rooms, you will often hear this slogan: “Expectations are just premeditated resentments.” This simple phrase helped me notice that I had unconscious expectations for the way that I thought that my loved ones should recover. I always thought that expectations were a noble thing to have, much like a goal. Instead, this slogan […]
“Ma’am?” I turned, wondering if the voice was speaking to me. I found the speaker, then noticed that he was looking at a woman. “Have you eaten today?” “Have I eaten?” His voice lifted. He seemed unsure and seeking confirmation that she would be talking to him; perhaps offering him food. “Do you like cheeseburgers?” […]
My dad used to get angry if he thought that one of us kids was being lazy. His anger was over the top. Over the last 13 years I started to understand that as the child of an alcoholic, he had conflated laziness with alcoholism. Since his father’s disease kept him from working, my dad […]
As I was leaving my annual physical, the doctor stopped me in the hallway, “Hey, your labs came back from your last appointment. You’re normal on all tests.” “Oh that’s good.” Then, I laughed, “Actually that’s a first. I don’t think anyone has ever called me normal before. “My doctor chuckled and said, “Let […]
