Understanding Alcohol

My beloved readers, I know that most of you have been negatively affected by drugs and alcohol and so let me ask you to please indulge me in this post. For the sake of growth, I’d like for you to read it with an open mind.

I grew up in a small town in a dry county. A dry county is one where alcohol is not legally allowed to be sold. Several times through the years, a vote would come up trying to legalize alcohol but the protestant churches were the overwhelming majority and they voted it out each and every time.

I was a member of one of those churches. I grew up in a southern Baptist church. From the pulpit, I learned of the dangers of alcohol. We were taught that drinking was a sin even though Jesus turned water into wine for Mary at the wedding feast at Cana. That wasn’t the only inconsistency. Many members of my church would drink at the local clubs in town where libations were sold illegally and show up on Sunday wagging a finger at those who would publicly drink. It was rather confusing.

In my late thirties, I converted to the Catholic Church. There, alcohol was served at church functions. We embraced alcohol in the Catholic Church. To me, this seemed honest. After growing up around a lot of hiding, I thought that maybe this was the way to move forward. Perhaps I could teach my children how to drink in moderation. I could caution them about the dangers of alcoholism.

My plan didn’t turn out so well for me. Alcoholism still found its way into our home. I learned that alcohol is not really the problem. I hope you will take a moment to take that in. Alcohol is not the problem–it is a symptom of the problem.

Renowned addiction expert, speaker author Dr. Gabor Maté who is sought after for his expertise on trauma, addiction, stress and childhood development is known for this quote: “Not why the addiction, why the pain?” His question helps us get to the core of the problem. Addiction is about the dis-ease that a person feels that is so overwhelming that they are willing to use or drink to numb those crippling feelings at whatever costs it incurs.

You–my audience know better than anyone just how far someone trapped in addiction will go to to avoid feeling their feelings of dis-ease. You know that if they were sober, they would never do the things that they will do when they are enslaved to the disease of addiction.

Remember that I believe that addiction is dis-ease, dis-order and disconnection in our relationships to God, self & others.

I remember seeing a young hip priest on Instagram who decided (like me) that he was going to teach young college students that were under his tutelege how to drink. He made a reel talking about moderation and not drinking alone and a few other things. It was all good advice for someone like me. But for someone whose feelings of dis-ease were so great that they needed a substance to alleviate that suffering–that advice meant nothing.

I watched his reel all of the way to the end just waiting for him to mention that one caveat. He didn’t. I left a comment. I told him who I was and what I’d experienced. I asked him to amend his reel and ask those who felt those kinds of feelings to reach out for help. I mentioned Alcoholics Anonymous.

But the public at large often misunderstands. They think that comments like mine are a wet blanket. Father Young & Hip didn’t respond. His followers did. And they did not like me one bit. They let me have it. I was the pooper of the party and he was doing a great service.

Maybe he was. For the vast majority of college students. But for those who might one day land in an AA room (hopefully) to tell a story just like the ones I’ve heard over and over again. (Same story, different name) “Hi, my name is John/Jane and I come from a big Catholic family. I had my first drink from the dregs of my dad’s bottle when I was 8 years old and I knew that I would need to drink for the rest of my life. It made me feel normal….”

I’ve heard those similar threads enough times that I’ve combined them here for you to see what the end result looks like if they are lucky enough to survive their disease. Plenty have not. Me and Father Young and Hip both had similar ideas. The only difference was that I only had 3 followers. He had tens of thousands.

It is important that we learn to understand alcohol and alcoholism. Alcohol is a symptom. Dis-ease, Dis-order & Disconnection in our relationships to God, Self & Others is the problem. Trauma is the problem. Let’s work on educating ourselves around this problem. Lives are at stake.