I met with a group of writers on Wednesday (30th) and one friend gave us St. Andrew novena cards. The card states that ‘It is piously believed that whoever recites the above prayers fifteen times a day from the feast of St. Andrew (30th Nov.) until Christmas will obtain what is asked.’ When I got home, I noticed this prayer on various social media sites. How had I missed it all these years? Perhaps it is because I have a tricky relationship with novenas.
What is a Novena?
Praying a novena means that we pray for an intention a certain number of times each day for nine days. Its practice comes to us from the Acts of the Apostles where Mary and the disciples prayed together before Christ ascended into heaven, asking the Holy Spirit to guide them. If you want to go deeper into the history of novenas follow this link.
I took the card and read it. The imagery of the words struck me: ‘at midnight, in Bethlehem, in the piercing cold…’ Ignatius asks us to use our senses, I was already starting to feel the aching chill of that dark night. I a mom who went into labor a full 8 weeks early. If I’d have gone into labor one day later, I would have been alone. I could feel the fear return of being alone and vulnerable as I faced giving birth. I felt close to the scene with just one recitation.
As a 12-stepper, there is a side of me that fears what I often do. I think, ‘If I pray these prayers, then (insert outcome) will happen.’ In other words, if I pray this prayer, 15 times a day I will be given this wish. I will have power to change my situation if I pray this one prayer (recipe).
Prayer the 12-Step Way
It’s taken a lot of 12-step work for me to see these unconscious thoughts. It is a slippery slope. Step 1 of the 12 steps, says that I am powerless. I am not-God. There is no action that I can take that will give me power over anyone or any situation. That is something that I have to wake up and remember each and every day. I even have a coffee mug that I call my daily reprieve mug that reminds me, “I can’t, God can, I’ll let Him.”
Step 11 is the step that reminds me to check my intentions: “Sought through prayer and meditation to improve my conscious contact with God, praying only for the knowledge of his will for me and the power to carry that out.” That last directive is the bottom line. It is my North Star of prayer.
I pulled my prayer card out again and looked at it. This beautiful practice came straight from scripture. It draws my attention to the birth of Christ. This is who I need to keep at the center of my life. God knows my desires better than anyone–including me.
I think of Mary too. She followed the will of God no matter what. She faced the consequences of being pregnant outside of marriage. Joesph could have left her. Still, she followed. Like Mary, I need to let go of expectation of outcome. My prayers need the step 11 mission: –‘praying only for the knowledge of his will for me and the power to carry that out.’
Praying a novena with 12-Step wisdom
Sorting out these feelings helps me see that God offers many tools for us to grow in relationship to him. There are many times that I say, I hate that my loved ones had to suffer with addiction for me to learn the 12-step practice. It has universal applications. But then I remember that we all have struggles. God will help us wherever he finds us. These are the graces that I have been given.
“Hail and blessed be the hour and moment in which the son of God was born of the most pure Virgin Mary, at midnight, in Bethlehem, in piercing cold. In that hour vouchsafe, O my God! to hear my prayer and grant my desires, through the merits of Our Saviour Jesus Christ, and of His blessed Mother. Amen”
Praying for all of you who read. I am praying for you and your families.
I am praying for you Jean. I want the same coffee cup !