My husband and I drove to a family gathering, the Saturday after Thanksgiving. He was able to see his cousins and aunts that he doesn’t get to see often. Because we don’t live in the same state as these family members, we don’t know about their day to day lives. So, there is a lot of catching up to do.
One relative, who I’ll call Lori, came to talk to me because she knows that I write about our family’s experience with addiction. She began to open up about her own experience with this disease in one of her family members. She is one of the lucky ones. Her loved one has not only survived this disease, but she gives back to those who now suffer.
She began to tell me about a story that had just happened to her. Her work had provided her with a new cell phone. Normally, she doesn’t answer the phone after hours. But that night, for whatever reason, she did. The caller was looking for her daughter.
Lori explained that this was her new work phone and the call ended. She went to bed, but couldn’t get the caller off of her mind. She decided to get up, turn her phone back on and dial the number that had just called her. As she told my husband this story, tears filled her eyes. Her voice was soft and gentle.
The pain of Lori’s past recognized this mother’s pain. Even though she hadn’t explained why she was looking for her daughter, there was something in her voice that she was able to identify with. And, because she knew it well, she had to reach out.
If there is a gift that is a by-product of this disease it is that the suffering that we experience allows us to reach out to the suffering of others. Her call was one mom reaching out to grab on to the hand of another frightened parent, saying “Hold on.” It will be alright. Look at me. There is hope.
Mother Teresa used to say that she could see the face of Jesus in every person. In the hungry, she saw a hungry Jesus and she fed Him. In the sick and dying person, she saw Jesus sick and dying and she helped Him.
I imagine that Lori may have recognized Jesus voice and she took the time to console Him. What a lovely gift. And that is one miracle to be found that was gained as a result of this disease.
Addiction has taught us what is important. We don’t see male or female. We don’t see rich or poor, race, religion, political party or any other classifying term. We only see souls.
December 7-9 I am co-hosting a retreat with Sister Mary Michael Fox, OP for family members who have a loved one who suffers from an addiction. The retreat will be held at the Dominican’s Bethany Retreat House in Dixon Tennessee.
There are still a couple of spots open. If you know of someone who needs a respite from the battle, please ask them to join us. We offer a time to recover ourselves in the presence of God and others who will recognize our pain. We offer rest and large doses of hope. We’d love to have you.
