I was at my local Barnes and Noble, secretly looking to see if my book was on their shelf when an employee walked up behind me and asked if she could help me find anything.
“No, thank you. Honestly, I was looking to see if the book that I’ve written was in stock here.” I said, a little embarrassed.
“Let’s go look.” She said, leading me to her computer. “What is the title?”
I took a deep breath and said, “Helping Families Recover from Addiction.” She began typing into her search bar and looked up, “Jean Heaton?”
“Yes.” I said. She must have noticed that stubborn hesitation that tends to show up every time I out myself to strangers, even after all of these years, thousands of 12-step meetings and writing a book about my experience–which I am extremely grateful for because she looked up at me, peering from behind her readers, making sure that her gaze latched directly onto mine and said, “Addiction is all over my family tree. This is an important book.”
Relief flooded my being. This lovely woman saw me. She was acquainted with my hesitation. She must have felt it before. She had probably experienced a moment in conversation when she was unsure of how much to share.
I drove home tired. I went upstairs to my favorite chair; the one that is flooded by the afternoon sunlight during the winter months. I got out my laptop and started scrolling through Instagram when I ran across this video of Jamie Lee Curtis and it felt like a holy moment. I hope you will watch all seven minutes. I promise you won’t regret it.
While Jamie Lee Curtis is in recovery from a Vicodin addiction, her experience is much like our experience as family members.
Are you in hiding from a loved one’s addiction? Are you afraid that someone will see what is happening in your home? Does your family situation keep you from moving forward with your life?
If you’ve answered yes to any of those questions, please know that I see you. I know how this disease can take over your life. I see you. Can you find one trusted person and out the secret?
Others are just like you. Many others are just like you. Acknowledge the secret. The shame of your secret is keeping you sick. Don’t allow the secret to keep you locked up.
Subscribe to my blog. Talk to your priest. Meet with a spiritual director. Talk to your deacon. Make an appointment with a counselor. Go to a 12-step meeting (many are on Zoom right now).
Out the secret. Be seen. Live your life again. You, my good sweet human friends are not alone. And hope is abundant.
Wow incredible video from Jamie lee Curtis. Love her!
It was so good!
In the midst of this endless pause, my heart felt heavy – being unable to figure out HOW to receive ashes virtually!
Some how, some way, I landed on your writings – having signed up for multiple Lenten retreats?! – and, God gave me exactly what I needed today – delivered by you, Jean, and JLC.
Bless you, thank you, both.
Karen,
Thank you so much! In case you are looking for another Lenten retreat, you can go to Ignatianspirituality.com and click on Ignatian Adventure. There is a retreat there based on Kevin O’Brien’s book. I am the weekly guest blogger this year and I look at these exercises through the lens of my recovery journey. Again thank you. Your kind words mean so much.
Karen, thank you so much! God always finds a way to give us exactly what we need. So glad you found the site.