Right after my oldest child was born, I went to my next-door neighbor’s house to pay her. She had picked up some supplies for me while I was still in the hospital. As I pushed my son’s stroller through the front-door, the cat hissed at him. Before I could form a coherent thought about what had just happened, I took the burp cloth that rested on my shoulder, and snapped it at the cat. I would have taken her out if I was able.
My neighbor’s daughter had a brain injury that left her emotionally the equivalent of a 13-year old and this cat was her baby. Normally, I would have never reacted that way. I looked at my neighbor and said, “I am so sorry.” She laughed, looking at me and said, “Oh, honey, that is just hormones and a mother’s instinct.
There have been a few times in my life when the way that I see the world is radically different than before. As soon as I was responsible for that new little life, I began to see all sorts of potential dangers. For the first time in my life, there was more to consider than just myself.
When my family was faced with addiction, I woke up in a new way. It was almost as dramatic as that incident with the cat long ago. In scripture there are many references such as Mark 8:18, that describe the me-before: “Having eyes do you not see, and having ears do you not hear? And do you not remember?”
When people have asked me how we were doing when things were hard, I would tell them that it was the hardest thing that I’d ever faced but, the changes that we had to make as the result of this crisis were the best thing that had ever happened to us.
Over the next few weeks, I’m going to share how my eyes were opened about the relationships I hold dear: to the addict/alcoholic, to God and finally how I came to know and accept myself. Once we began our personal recovery, each of these relationships became authentic. And, that was pure gift.
As Holy Week begins, I thought that it was appropriate to point out the ways that we had to die to disordered thoughts and ways of being in order to have the hope of a new life and new and healthy relationships. I hope that you will follow along. Hope is abundant.