Acceptance is the Key

Five days ago, the reality of our current situation hit me. I had no past experience to draw from.

Fearing a stay at home order, I went to the grocery store to get a few staples. I had a plan. I was going to buy bread, but if they were out of bread, I’d buy frozen bread dough. If they didn’t have frozen bread dough, I’d stock up on flour. None of those items were available.

As I strolled through the store seeing more empty shelves than filled shelves, it felt as though I was watching myself move through this odd situation unable to believe that I was here—in this moment. It was eerily quiet and yet the store was full of shoppers. 

Later that night, I sat on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through Instagram and saw @thecatholictraveler (Mountain Butorac) had a video on his stories that showed an Italian man flipping through the obituaries of a Roman newspaper on a particular day that consisted of one and a half pages and then for comparison, he did  the same thing for the following day’s paper only  there were ten pages of obituaries.

I was frozen and afraid. I spent the next couple of days filled with anxiety. I wrestled with God. I did not want to be in this situation. Pretty soon, I realized that this felt familiar. I’d been here before. Different topic. Same problem.

Almost ten years ago, I discovered that our family had been touched by the addictions of others. It too threatened the lives of those we loved. I knew that it would be a lifelong battle. I did not want to be a part of that club. I did not want this cross.

But we are a part of that club and that cross belongs to me. So, I began a twelve-step program that taught me to find serenity in the midst of our situation no matter what was happening. My awareness meant that I no longer denied what was happening in my life.

Realizing what I was doing, I dug out the “Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous” to reread page 417 of the 4^thedition. Written by a doctor this one paragraph has helped me reorient myself on many occasions. It is taken from the chapter titled, “Acceptance is the Answer”:

“And acceptance is the answer to all my problems today. When I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, thing or situation—some fact of my life –unacceptable to me, and I can find no serenity until I accept that person, place, thing or situation as being exactly the way it is supposed to be at this moment. Nothing, absolutely nothing, happens in God’s world by mistake. Until I could accept my alcoholism, I could not stay sober; unless I accept life completely on life’s terms, I cannot be happy. I need to concentrate not so much on what needs to be changed in the world as on what needs to be changed in me and in my attitudes.”

When I accept this new reality, the world doesn’t change. I do. 

Ten years ago, the changes that I was so afraid of making, turned out to be the best thing for me and my family. We are better and happier people. Our acceptance led us to the final step which is action.

The action required is that we let go and let God. Accepting God’s will in even these hard times will bring us peace. While it is dark and scary, knowing that God is in charge allows me to ask, what am I to learn in this situation? What should I be doing?

As I prayed that prayer, a famous quote by Mother Teresa came to mind. I took it as instructions for how to move forward. I will close with it here.